Of oddities
by Become-Meguca
Summary: This entire ordeal could have been avoided if someone hadn't left that banana peel on the top of the staircase. Now, Lovino Vargas is stuck managing both school work and dealing with the supernatural. Not to mention the possibly sociopathic Spaniard with a thing for using office supplies as makeshift weapons. Oh joy. Antonio CRAB arc. Bakemonogatari AU.
1. Antonio CRAB part 1

Although he was intelligent, athletic, and one of the most popular boys in the school, Antonio Fernandez Carriedo rarely talked to anyone on his own initiative. True, he spoke up in class, answered when spoken to, and rejected any and all potential dates respectfully, but to his fellow students at Jeanne D'Arc Central High, he was practically a ghost. A ghost with a sharp wit, tan skin, and eyes like polished remembrance shards perhaps, but a ghost nonetheless. After sitting quietly in class, he would slip out of the door and vanish to nobody knows where.

Many of his classmates joked that he lived in the hospital, considering how he was always supposedly sick.

They found him peculiar in other ways as well; though he hardly spoke, he was a voracious reader. As studious he was, any lull in the class lesson was invariably an invitation to slip a book out of his book bag with all the silence of a sword being drawn out of its sheath, and the imperceptible sound of pages sliding against one another. He read everything: Fiction, nonfiction, creative nonfiction, historical fiction, etc., anything he could get his hands on. His teachers didn't mind it though: GPA-wise, he easily ranked among the top ten in all of his classes.

But despite his intelligence, looks, and status, he had no friends. Not a single one.

Some said he preferred it that way. Every week-at least once a week-someone was almost guaranteed to ask him out. Normally, that someone was let down with one of his usual stanbys:

1: "I'm really busy this week."

2: "I have a private training/study session that night."

3: "No."

Lovino Vargas did not see himself as a potential date, but he find him curious regardless. Though some stroke of luck or-as his friend, Bella, stressed tirelessly, coincidence, he had somehow managed to wind up taking the exact same classes that he did for three years, starting with their freshmen year.

Though similar circumstances-or, he sometimes thought, because he probably thinks I'm stalking him- the two of them never spoke. It was not a conscious effort on one's part to avoid the other, simply happenstance. Neither of them called attention to the strangeness of being in the exact same classes three years in a row, and neither of them cared about it that much at the time. But later, when he actually thought about it, he realized how odd the other actually was.

First: He was socially nonexistent. This was almost identical to his status as the school ghost, but with the slight distinction that should have been inescapable. Though Lovino and his friends were never at the center of the politics, and had better things to worry about, they got dragged in all the same. Kiku Honda and the rest of the Disciplinary committee saw to that every time he arrived to school tardy, which was a lot. But Antonio, despite his quietness and overwhelming popularity amongst his classmates that should have created one or two rivals, was not involved in the least. It was as though his silence stood around him like a barrier or an invisible reflect spell. He was not involved except for when he absolutely had to be. He was neither bullied or a bully, and it appeared that he would remain that way.

Secondly: His voice was off. It didn't sound bad, per say, though Lovino thought that his voice sounded nice. What Lovino did find odd though, when he thought about his voice, was that he was completely emotionless. He had a way of speaking that sounded fairly normal upon hearing it for the first time, and would probably continue to seem normal as long as he didn't speak up too much. But there was a difference between emotiong and pretending to emote; his voice had an inclection that suggested a bright and chipper personality, but there was no variation. Regardless of the events happening around him-gossip, politics, petty arguments and the like- he was forever unruffled and his tone never changed. He heard that he sounded exactly the same whenever he would turn down someone.

At times, he seemed less like a student and more like a permanent fixture of the school.

But it hadn't mattered.

Though it was curious that they were in all the same classes, and he was a curious person himself, everything was just a passing curiosity. He had known him for three years of school, yes, but what did that even mean? He had known plenty of other people just as long; people that he had hesitated to call friends, per say, but he actually spoke to. He often wondered why he was so hung up on Antonio sometimes when there were so many other people he knew better, But, then again, how many other people in the school did he actually call friends? It was a simple question that he preferred not to talk about when asked.

(1): Bella Van Damme

(2): N/A

(3): N/A

Getting back to the point, even if a miracle occurred and you shared the same class with someone for three years, It's not possible to feel lonely for not exchanging any words with that person; it just ends up as a memory that such a person had existed. Even though the Italian didn't know what would happen to him after he graduated from high school, he probably wouldn't have a reason to remember Antonio's face, nor be able to do so.

That was fine with him. It should be the same for the Spaniard as well. Not only for him, but it should be the same for everyone in school.

That's what he thought.

But.

On one particular date.

That changed.

* * *

To be truthful, I'd just ended a hellish excuse for a spring break and saw the end of a horrible Golden Week, It was the eigth of May.

If you hadn't realized, I had a tendency for tardiness, which you can blame on my brother's oversleeping...and I guess me too, occasionally. I was, therefore, rushing up the stairs of the school building. At that moment, someone fell from the sky.

That someone was Antonio Fernandez Carriedo.

To be truthful, he probably didn't fall from the sky. He'd probably tripped on the stairs and fell backwards. I could have easily dodged it, but I chose to catch him and break his fall. I carefully held out my hands, embracing for the impact.

It seemed like a better choice then dodging and, you know, letting him break his head on the polished floors.

No, it was most probably a mistake. definitely.

Because.

Because Antonio , whom I caught and hence stopped his fall, was very-impossibly light. No kidding. And I'm not saying this to describe how ~light and delicate~ he was to make him seem more attractive. I am serious, it was as though the bastard wasn't even there. Antonio Fernandez Carriedo had no weight.

* * *

"Antonio Carriedo?" Bella tilted her head to the side, puzzlement in her eyes from the topic I had just brought up. "What about him?"

"You know-" I hesitated. "..Just curious, dammit."

"You don't say."

"You know...he has a pretty long name. Who does he think he is? Julio Esteban Ricardo-"

"Lovi, I know you're proud that you've memorized that name, but please save us ten seconds of our lives by not saying it. Anyways, his name is pretty normal to me. Hm...Antonio derives from Antonius, which is a well known Latin family name. Fernandez is a common Spanish last name that means 'Son of Fernando'-"

"I bet his dad's name isn't even Fernando."

"-As for Carriedo, it's not a common last name..but it's also not uncommon."

"..You really do know everything.."

"I don't know everything. I just know what I know. Why are you asking about him anyways?"

"...Just curious."

Although Bella did not seem satisfied with the response I had given to her, she did not persist but only commented offhandedly. "It's kinda rare for someone like you to take notice of other people, Lovi.."

Bella Von Damme.

She's the class representative.

She is a girl with the air of a class representative. Not only was she rule-abiding and smart, but with her blonde hair and green eyes, she was popular with both the students and teachers. She has been the class representative all her life, and has an air about her that suggests she will continue to be class representative all her life, and is the representative of all representatives. There are rumours that she was made to be the perfect class representative by a sacred god. (just me, actually.)

We were in different classes for the first and second year of school and only ended up in the same class for our third year. Even before we had become friends, I had heard about Bella's existence. It was a given; if Antonio was in the top of the class, Bella was the top student. She attains perfect marks for all five or four subjects as if it was a walk in the park, and even now, I can remember her inhuman feat. In the term tests of the first semester of our second years, the only mistake she made was on a trick question regarding history. She was so popular that even If I didn't want to, I would have most likely still ended up hearing about her at one point or another.

And.

Unfortunately, no, it probably was a good thing but it's still pretty annoying, dammit.

Bella is a kind person, good at taking care of people. And it kinda sucks that she's also a really determined person. Once she makes up her mind on something, there's no changing her mind. During Spring Break, because of one little incident that we should have been over and done with by now, she had declared: "I'm going to make sure that you stay safe."

For someone like me who wasn't a troublemaker or anything, her sudden declaration came as a shock. No matter how hard I tried to convince her, she forced me to become the assistant class representative.

That was why today, the eighth of May, the both of us stayed back after school to plan the upcoming 'Culture Day' that was to be held in the middle of June.

"Hmm..well instead of wasting time on gathering opinions with surveys, let's just think up of a few ideas and then ask the class to vote for the best choice. What do you think?"

"Sounds good to me. Democratic."

"Anyways, just for reference...do you know what your little brother's school did last week for their festival? Marcello, I mean.."

"A buffet with different types of food and a play I think.."

She scoffed, "That's too...normal. Thus, it's boring."

"I guess. Whatever."

"Then again...normal might be good."

"Hell no."

"Heh.."

"Most of the stalls are going to be hella' boring, but is it such a bad idea? Screw the guests visiting, I sure as hell want us to have fun...that reminds me, Carriedo - he doesn't participate in Culture Day, does he?" Not last year - and not the year before that either. It was a stupid question. Antonio probably doesn't participate in anything outside normal class time. Sports were a given but he does not participate in any clubs either. The excuse being that the doctor has forbidden any form of physical exertion, or something of the sort. Now that I think of it, it's weird. Physical exercise is understandable, but to exclude any forms of physical activity

But, what if-

What if I had been mistaken.?

What if Antonio had no weight..?

Other then normal classes, situations where he'll be surrounded by lot's of people, like P.E, would increase the chances of him being touched, and he wouldn't be able to participate.

"Hey, are you worried about Antonio?

"Why the hell would I?"

"I didn't know you were into the sickly type, Lovi. That's so perverted~" Bella teased.

"..Sickly, huh..."

I guess you could call him sickly.

But does that really count as an illness?

From the topmost staircase, the Spanish bastard fell. It was a situation where the person who attempted to catch him would have been injured too. Despite that, there was no impact.

"Ya know, Lovi, I would think that you would know more about him since you two have been in the same class for three years running..."

I just shrugged, glancing out the window and staring out at the schools baseball team run laps around the field. "..Just think of it as a question from the assistant class rep to the class rep. What kind of a person is Antonio?"

"...Weeeeell.."

Bella, who had not stopped writing even as she spoke to me (she wrote and erased and rewrote "Buffet" and "Play" as the first items on the list of "Item to be presented on Cultural Day"), stopped and glanced up.

"Antonio is an honor student with no problems."

"I bet. I already knew that. I'm asking about things I don't know."

"I've only know him for a month. Cut me some slack. Then again.." She paused, "..He isn't someone of many words..and doesn't seem to have any friends."

As expected, she sees through everyone.

"..It might have been because of his illness..but during middle school, he was a lot more energetic and friendly."

"...Oi, Bella, you never told me you went to the same middle school as Antonio."

She looked surprised. "I thought it wouldn't be important. We both went to Twin Lakes Middle School. We weren't in the same class, but I had heard of him. He was handsome..and good at sports. He was the star of the soccer team..and he also broke several records I think."

"..."

People change.

It was definitely a selfish assumption.

From middle school to high school, it's a given that people will change. I changed, and Bella must have also changed. That's why it's understandable that Antonio has changed. He must have had his own problems, and maybe he really did become ill. Maybe that's why he lost his cheerful, old self. Anyone would become depressed when they're sick and forced to give up doing something they enjoyed.

"...His existence is - really fragile."

Silence - she had hit the bull's eye.

"..Hey, I gotta get going." I announced as I stood up, "Just remembered that Arthur called me.."

"Arthur? What for?"

"Something - Well, he probably wanted me to help with his..work."

"Oh.." Bella's expression was unreadable. The sudden change in topic - more liken an attempt to get away from the subject at hand. "Alright then. You shouldn't keep 'Mega brows' waiting."

Seems like using the British man's name was a good choice.

"I'll leave the rest to you, then."

"I'll be fine, don't worry. Tell Arthur I say hello."

"I will."

I gave a wave, stepping out of the classroom.

* * *

I shut the door with one hand, and had taken a single step, when, I heard from behind me,

"What were you talking to Bella about for so long?" A voice asked.

As I turned around, I was still unable to guess the identity of the person behind me -

"Don't move an inch."

From those simple four words alone, I realized that it was Antonio.

In the instant that I had faced him, I also realized that he had inserted a box cutter into my mouth, as if he had aimed for it, as if he had cut through space and time. The blade of the cutter-kinfe was touching the inside of my right cheek.

"..!"

"Oh, sorry about that! Let me put it simpler. You can move if you want, but it would have dire consequences, considering your current position."

I stood, like an idiot, mouth wide open, quivering and yet frozen in place out of fear. I was afraid. Not of the cutter-knife..okay, maybe I was, but Antonio's expression didn't help. He stood there smiling, whilst threatening me with a cutter-knife. And even though he was smiling...he stared at me coldly, unmoving. Had he -

Had I ever seen him with an expression like this one?

"...Your curiosity reminds me of a cockroach. Disgusting...digging into people's secrets persistently...it's really irritating, amigo. You've touched my nerves...you boring excuse of a bug.."

"W-What..?"

"Oh? Is your left cheek feeling lonely? You could have told me that in the first place! Don't worry, I have a friend here with me.." The Spaniard raised his left hand and, in the swiftness of movement, as if he was going to punch me in the face, I braced myself...but nothing came.

He was holding a stapler in his left hand.

Before I could even realize what the hell it was that he had been holding, he had already slipped it into my mouth. Of course, he didn't put the entire stapler in my mouth, but held it in a certain way that suggested that he was going to staple my left cheek. loosely, he pressed down...as if he was going to staple something.

"...A-Ah..."

The bigger and heavier end of the staple, that is, the pointed ends of the staples, the fully loaded side, was inserted into my mouth, and of course, made me completely shut up. With the cutter-knife, I hadn't been able to move..but at least I could talk - but now, there was no way in hell I was going to say anything.

First, he had me open my mouth with a box-cutter..which was soon followed by the stapler. The fact that this was all probably planned was a bit alarming.

Well...this sucks.

In an instant, I was completely trapped.

"...After you asked Bella about my life in middle school, did you plan to ask for my school records? Or even go straight to the school doctor? What's the deal?"

I didn't know what Antonio thought of me. He just sighed deeply.

"...I thought it was going to be a normal day while I was climbing up the stairs. I never thought there would be a banana peel on the top."

"..."

My life was in the hands of a guy who slipped on a banana peel. More importantly, why the fuck was there a banana peel on the stairs in a school? God dammit. I'm now in this position cause some fucker just had to litter. Damn litterbugs, ruining the lives of people.

"..You realized it, didn't you?" He asked, still staring at me with cold eyes and a cruel smile.

"That I have no weight."

Weightless.

My left cheek was forcefully stretched outwards and pressure put on my right cheek, causing me to wince in pain.

"I should weigh around...seventy kilograms..I think.." He asserted. He stood his ground.

"But my weight at the moment is...five kilograms."

What the fuck?

"It's pretty strange, but it has it's perks. I can jump like nobody's business and falling doesn't hurt me at all!"

Then I caught him for no reason. And for catching him, I'm now on the verge of being sliced. Great. Fucking great.

He was great at concealing his emotions. I'll give him that. Maybe he's a sociopath.

"Now, here's a little surprise. It happened in the summer before my freshman year...when my dad's company had just started up, and he remarried, this happened."

What happened?

"One evening, three years ago, I was walking along the beach...when I met a crab."

A crab?

Like the animal?

I kept my expression blank. Well, this was weird. Now wasn't a really good time for story telling.

"...It took a portion of my weight, and a portion of my emotions. That's what happened."

...A crab took his emotions? What?

"It's okay if you don't understand, Lovino. It's really weird as it is. I don't weigh at all..and I don't have emotions. It's not a problem- having nothing to hold me down besides my self-control- it's not that bad." He glanced towards the gym door again, before swiftly turning back to me. "There are only one person in this school that knows about my problem. You."

He tilted his head, that sick smile still on his face.

"So now, what should I do to keep your mouth shut? Other then 'tearing apart your mouth" so that you can't speak?"

Box-cutter.

Stapler.

"Are you going to pity me?"

As if I can even respond to your question, asshat.

"How nice of you!..But I don't want your pity."

"..."

"I just want you to stay shut and not utter a word. You don't want me to cut you now, do you?"

His smile widened.

"Lovino, if you can promise me indifference and silence, nod three times, kay? I'll treat any other kind of motion as an offensive move and won't hesitate to attack."

What an asshole.

Left with no choice, I nodded three times.

He seemed relieved by my choice of action. Even though I had been left with no damn choice and he was the one holding a knife at me.

"Thank you.." As he said that, he removed the knife from my mouth. Slowly. He put away the box-cutter.

Next was the stapler-

"..Urgh!?"

Snap.

What a dick.

Antonio closed the stapler.

And before I could even respond to the pain, he removed the stapler. Dragging it along the inside of my mouth.

Cuts.

Blood.

Pain.

I collapsed, grasping at my mouth in pain.

"W-What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Click!

In an instant, the stapler was out again.

Of course, I shivered.

A normal reflex.

"Alllll right then, Lovino. From tomorrow onwards, please make sure you ignore me, alright? I'm depending on you~!"

And with that, he went down the stairs. Before I could even stand, the bastard had turned the corner and left.

"...B-Bastard.."

Even though all of that had happened, despite that, in some part of my brain, I'd thought he wouldn't honestly do it. The fact that he chose the stapler instead of the cutter-knife should give me a bit of hope, at least..

I stroked my cheek, not to ease the burning pain, but to ascertain its state.

"..."

All right.

He hadn't pierced through.

And then, I inserted my finger into my mouth and felt my way in.

The pain was not gone, nor was it so weak that I couldn't find the staple – but there was only one of it. As expected, it was only meant as a threat, and it could still be considered a peaceful attempt… in a way. He could have done a lot worse so I shouldn't be complaining.

Oh well.

The fact that it hadn't pierced through my cheek meant that the staple had not bent… it was still in its original shape, with the sharp ends pointed outwards. That meant that he had not used too much force

With my thumb and forefinger, I pulled it out in one go.

The sharp pain was mixed with the iron taste of blood.

Blood was spurting out, it seems.

"Ow..."

It's all right.

If it's only this, I'll be fine.

As I licked the two holes on the inside of my cheek, I picked up the staples that Antonio had dropped, cursing his name in every which way possible.

"Eh? Why are you still here, Lovino?" said Bella as she stepped out of the classroom.

It seemed like she'd finished the papers.

That took quite a bit of time.

Or should I say...why the fuck couldn't you finish sooner and save me?

...I can't be mad at Bella.

"Shouldn't you be heading to Arthur's place?" She asked, blinking.

It was like she hasn't realized anything.

She had been on the other side of the wall. It's a pretty damn thin wall and, despite that, without letting Bella notice anything, he managed to pose such a threat. That bastard is truly someone to be feared.

"Bella… Do you like bananas?"

"Eh? Well, um, I don't hate them. If I had to decide, I guess I do like them. Is this..supposed to be a perverted question or something?"

"No matter how much you like them, don't eat them in school!"

"...Huh?"

"Well, it's fine if you eat them in school, but don't you dare fucking leave the peel just lying on the ground!"

"What are you talking about, Lovi!?" said Bella, looking exasperated.

That's to be expected.

"More importantly, what about Arthur–"

"I'm heading there now," I said.

As I said that, I left Bella and dashed off. "Ah, hey, Lovino! You shouldn't run in the corridors! I'll tell the teacher!" I heard her shout behind me, but I ignored her.

I ran.

In any case, I ran.

Turning the corner, the staircase.

This is the fourth floor.

He can't be too far away.

Hop, step, jump, I flew down the stairs, landing as softly as if I was dancing.

The shock of the impact on my feet.

The impact of gravity.

Even this kind of impact –

Antonio couldn't feel it.

No weight.

No mass.

His doubtful footsteps.

A crab.

He had talked about a crab...

"This way...wait...yeah,"

He wouldn't try to hide. He wouldn't think that I would chase after him, so he should be heading straight for the school gate. He has no club activities, so he must be one of those who head straight home after school. Even if he did have something on, it won't be starting at this time. Once I had come to that conclusion, I went down the staircase, past the third and second floors without hesitation. Leaping down.

And from the second floor to the first.

Antonio was there.

From the noise I was making, he must have already known that I was coming, and even though I was approaching him from the back, he was already turning around to face me.

With those cold eyes.

"...Amazing" he said.

"No, I should truly be surprised. You're the first person I've seen rebound from that so quickly."

"The first…"

That meant that there had been others.

Though he made such a big fucking deal about it.

But, it was true, once I thought about it, that his secret of "having no weight" was one that would be exposed upon contact. It was realistically speaking, impossible.

I swear to god, he really must be a sociopath or something.

"In any case...I'm amazed that you're already up and walking around. I would have expected you to honestly still be kneeling down in pain and crying."

The voice of experience.

Too freaking scary.

"..All right, I get it now, Lovi. Your attitude of 'an eye for an eye' doesn't sit well with me. I hope you're prepared for this," said Antonio, as he stretched his hands out by his side.

"Let's fight."

Starting with pen knives and staples, all sorts of office supplies appeared in those hands. Sharpened pencils, compass, multi-coloured ballpens, mechanical pencils, rubber bands, paper clips, marker pens, safety pins, fountain pens, white out, scissors, isosceles triangle rulers, thirty-centimetre rulers, protactors..

…

Where the fuck did he even get those from? And why, of all the things to fight with, is he using office supplies? What the hell is he even going to do with the white out?

...

Those scissors do look pretty dangerous though

Personally, I felt that the instant adhesive was the most dangerous.

"..Y-You're wrong..I'm not here to fight."

"You aren't?" He sounded disappointed.

But he didn't relax his arms.

The assorted weaponry glistened.

"Then, what business do you have with me?"

"Well...the thing is.." I said, "I might be able to help you."

"Help me?" I could tell from his tone that he was laughing at me.

No, he might be infuriated.

"Stop joking around...I told you, I really don't like pity. I've given you enough warnings, amigo. Leave me alone."

"…"

"I'll treat your kindness as an act of hostility," he said, as he took a step towards me.

His lack of hesitation was a fact that I knew only too well, from the previous skirmish. One that I did not want to know about.

That's why.

That's why, without saying anything, I peeled back my lips with a finger and showed him my cheek.

With my right finger, and showed him my cheek.

Exposing the inside of my cheek.

"...Q-Que?"

As expected, Antonio was shocked. With a clatter, the weapons in his hands fell onto the floor.

"You – how is that –" he could not complete his question.

That's right.

There was not even the smell of blood.

The wound that Antonio had made with his stapler had already healed without a trace.

* * *

**A/N**

**Bella Van Damme: Belgium**

**Marcello Vargas: Seborga **


	2. Antonio CRAB part 2

It all happened during spring break.

I was attacked by a vampire.

At least It wasn't the sparkly type.

But goddamn, I had wished it was a cute girl. Getting bitten by some random guy pretty much ruined my Golden Week.

It's usually hidden under the collar of my school jacket, but on the nape of my neck, his bite marks remain there, reminding me of that day. There are probably lots of stories where when one is attacked by a vampire, people like vampire hunters; specialists in killing vampires, or a special division of the Christian Church, or a group of vampires who hunt their own kind will appear to save you- but, in my case, I was saved by a passing stranger.

I was able to return to being a human being – I'm fine with sunlight, crosses, garlic, and anything else – but there were side-effects; my physical abilities were beyond that of a normal human being. Though I say that, I don't mean my physical abilities, but my metabolism has increased; my ability to heal myself. I don't know what would have happened if my cheek had been ripped apart by that cutter-knife Antonio had, but it takes less than thirty seconds to heal the wound made by the staple. Compared to other creatures, that's pretty fast.

"Arthur Kirkland..?"

"Yeah. Arthur Kirkland."

"His name reminds me of a cartoon I used to watch..," Antonio said, "...It was about a talking anteater.."

"I wouldn't tell that to his face if I were you. Identity is kind of a hot-button-topic to him." I would have usually insulted someone like him by now...but considering how he stapled my mouth..I'll choose to bite my tounge.

From our high school, it takes about twenty minutes to get to an elementary school that was located outside the residential area.

Was located.

A few years ago, because of a sudden influx of schools, this particular school had closed down due to financial problems. By the time I came to know about this four-floored building, it had already fallen into an awe-inspiring state of disrepair, so what I know of its history is only from rumors.

The trees along the path had died from lack of care, leaving a spiderweb mesh of dead branches overhead. Before Arthur arrived, the school had been a local gang's hangout. The walls, floors, and anything they could reach were covered in graffiti. The floors had been littered with mystery mold tins and phials once filled with echoing drops. But, like the students and teachers and administrators before them, they moved on, and Arthur was able to move in without incident. Few knew he lived there. He liked it like that. He'd risk eviction if the wrong people learned about him.

Dangerous.

Private property.

Access prohibited.

Though the building was surrounded by a safety fence and a mess of poster boards, holes in the fence were aplenty, so entry and exit was both possible and easy.

And in the midst of that rubble was where Arthur lived.

Where he decided to make his home.

He's literally a British hobo.

"In any case, my butt hurts. And I don't mean it in a /good/ way.."

"It's not my fault, dammit. And stop being a perv."

"Stop making excuses. I'll chop it to pieces."

"Chop /what/ to pieces!? You're the one making jokes involving your ass, dammit!"

"Shouldn't you be nicer to me because it's my first time riding a bicycle with someone else, Lovi?"

Didn't you propose that kindness is an action of hostility? And who does he think he is? Calling me Lovi...

"Hell… It's going to take the patience of a thousand Virgin Mary's to deal with someone like you, dammit..…"

"Loooooovi, you're making me sound like a bad person.." said Antonio, hopping off the bike as we had arrived to our destination.

"More importantly, where's your bag? You're empty-handed, aren't you? Don't you have one?"

That reminds me, I've never seen Antonio carrying anything.

"Oh. I've already memorized everything in the textbooks. That's why I leave everything in the school locker. If I have all my stationery with me, I don't need a bag. Since I don't need a change of clothes for physical education classes either."

"Hm.."

"If I don't have my hands free, I won't be able to fight when the time comes."

"…"

His entire whole body is a weapon.

A fucking human weapon.

"I reaaaaaaally don't like leaving my school materials though. And since I have no friends, I can't really ask anyone for some.."

"Don't say that so fucking casually. That's sad and pathetic."

"What's wrong? Since it is for sanitary purposes, there's nothing to be embarrassed about. Hiding it would be more disgusting, don't you think?"

I think hiding it is also rather problematic.

Well, it's up to the individual I guess...

I have no right to comment on it.

More importantly, what had caught my attention was the way he had dismissed his lack of friends.

"Oh, that reminds me."

Having found an opening to the school, I turned to face the other.

"I'll hold your 'stationery'."

"Huh?"

"I'll hold them for you, so take them out, dammit."

"What did you say?"

He looked as if I had said something stupid. As if there was something wrong with my head.

"Arthur is a really weird guy. But I owe him my life."

Besides.

He's also Bella's saviour.

"I'm not going to let him meet up with someone who would probably try and staple his mouth close. Hell, you would probably use that tape of yours to wax out his damn eyebrows."

"I didn't expect you to say that after we'd arrived." Antonio glared at me. "You tricked me, didn't you?"

"…"

Do you have to put it that way?

Antonio didn't respond, but his expression was a mixture of serious contemplation and conflict. He stared at a point near his feet, but turned his head to glare at me several times.

I thought that we might leave without going inside, but after a while, he said "Alright" as if he had made up his mind.

"Hold out your hands."

With that, the stationeries fell from his as if they were a thousand petals, as if it was a magic show and he was pulling off a trick. The stationery he had threatened me with back in the corridor had barely been the tip of the iceberg. His pockets might be four dimensional. Hell, It might be a twenty-second century technology. Even though I had said I would hold them for him, the amount made me worry if they would fit in my bag.

The government must be neglecting public safety allowing someone like the crazy fuck standing in front of me to be walking freely about in public.

"If you're thinking of leading me on, bringing me to such an isolated ruin, thinking to pay me back for the stapler wound, then you're making a huge mistake."

"…"

Well, I think it's a mistake too, dammit.

"Listen carefully. If I don't call them every minute, five thousand of my minions will go after your family."

"Whatever."

"Are you saying that it'll only take a minute?!"

"I..I didn't even say anything implying that, dammit!"

More importantly, how dare you threaten my family.

How fucking outrageous.

Five thousand people, what a huge sack of bullshit.

Pretty bold for someone who doesn't even have fucking friends.

"You have two younger brothers, don't you?"

"…"

He knows about my family.

Even if it's a lie, that's not a joke.

Anyway, I had shown him my invincibility against injuries and it seems like he doesn't trust me at all because of that. In view of the fact that Arthur had said that trust was important, this was not a good situation.

Well, it can't be helped.

From now on, it's Antonio's personal problem.

I'm only the guide.

Past the wire netting, we entered the area and into the building. Even though it was only evening, it was pretty dim. Because the building had been left in disrepair for so long, the footing was bad, and if one wasn't careful one would stumble.

I stretched out my hand towards Antonio, who had stopped at the entrance, grabbing his wrist, and showing him the way. He looked bewildered by my sudden movement, and muttered "what", but he followed me closely.

I'm not doing this because I like him or anything. I just rather know the location of where someone like him will be.

"...I told you earlier that most of my emotions were taken from me." Antonio began, "Among them were my happiness, my compassion, and my mercifulness. I don't have a shred of mercy, and I don't have a lot of regret, but I can choose to be merciful, even if it means nothing to me. I felt that I was doing the right thing, given the circumstances. I didn't want to hurt you too badly."

"..Are you seriously fucking asking me to thank you for cutting the inside of my mouth instead of the outside? What's WRONG with you?"

"Well, I was drawing them out, so I had a feeling that I wouldn't, ya know?"

"I still don't see why I should be grateful, dammit. Looks like all your anger was wasted on me, though."

"Don't worry, Lovi. I have anger to spare~!" He said with the fake smile he usually wore.

...

And what did he mean by that?

Arthur was usually on the fourth floor.

There was an elevator, but of course, it wasn't working. The only options were to break into the ceiling of the elevator and follow the wires that led to the fourth floor.

And climbing up the stairs.

Needless to say, I choose the latter.

Holding Antonio's hand, we climbed the stairs.

"Lovi. I have one last thing to say."

"What is it?"

"Though I may look like this, under my clothes, my body is really not worth the jail time and the dismemberment I would give you."

"..."

Antonio Fernandez Carriedo seems to be quite suspicious of me.

"Just saying, that of you decide to strip yourself and try to rape me, no matter what happens, I'll definitely get my revenge on you like they do in soap operas."

"..."

He has zero prudence and no sense of shame.

What a terrifying person.

"Why are you so suspicious of me, dammit? I'm just trying to fucking help you."

"Can't be too careful."

"Right, right. That why you stapled my fucking mouth, right?"

"Still, that Arthur person of yours lives in a rundown building...?"

"He's..really fucking weird."

I still find it difficult to answer Antonio's questions.

"Shouldn't we have contacted him before coming here- though it's a bit late saying that now-"

"It's surprising to see that you have manners. And being the weirdo he is, he doesn't have a mobile phone."

"He sounds so mysterious...what does he even do as a living?"

"I don't really know the details, but he's an expert in situations like ours."

"Hmmm..."

Though my explanation wasn't really helpful in anyway, Antonio did not press on the issue. He may be thinking that he'd be meeting him anyway, that there wouldn't be any point in asking.

"Oh, Lovi. you're wearing your watch on your right wrist, aren't you?"

"Um..yeah."

"Are you a demon?"

"Can't you just ask if I'm left-handed!"

"I seeeee. So, are you?"

"…"

He's the one whose a demon.

Fourth floor.

Since it was originally a school, the rooms were divided into three classrooms – for each of the classrooms, the doors were broken and had blended into the corridors. I peeked into the first classroom, looking for Arthur,

"Ah, there you are, Lovino. I've been waiting for you."

Arthur Kirkland was there.

He was sitting cross-legged on a makeshift bed created from several worn-out tables that had been stacked and tied together with plastic strings, facing them.

As if he had known that I was coming. As usual – he can see through everything.

And, Antonio was – clearly, repulsed. Even though I had told him about Arthur, Arthur's dirty state must be quite shocking to a modern high schooler. Anyone who lived in such a dump would certainly be a bit...beat up, but even a guy like me would say that Arthur is far from clean. Too be honesty, he was dirty. And more important than that, the 'Anarchy in the UK' shirt was the last straw.

It always comes as kind of a shock that this person is my saviour...

"Well, I see you've brought along a new person..and this time, of the male gender. Are you perhaps experimenting?"

"Cut that out, dammit. Don't make me sound like that kind of character."

"Hmm – aren't you?"

Arthur was staring at Antonio with a far-sighted look.

As if he was staring at something behind him.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Arthur."

"...Nice to meet you. I'm Antonio Fernandez Carriedo."

In any case, the self-introductions were done.

At least he hadn't tried to insert any insults. Looks like he has some respect for the older generation. That's good, at least.

"I'm Lovi's classmate, he was the one who told me about you."

"Ah – I see," said Arthur in a meaningful tone of voice.

Casting his eyes downwards, he took out a cigarette and held it between his lips, without lighting it. The windows, which were already unable to function as windows, contained only shards of glass, and Arthur seemed to be pointing at the far distance.

And after a long silence, he turned towards me.

"...Was it his ass that attracted you?"

"..?"

"S-Shut up! Stop making me appear to be some creep! Don't mix me into your generation where adolescence was when Full House was on.

"Of course," laughed Arthur.

At that, Antonio frowned.

Another long silence

"Uh...well – I guess it'll be better if you ask him directly, but anyways, Arthur – two years ago, he –"

"Don't talk about me so...informally," said Antonio resolutely.

"...Then how do you want me to call you?" I hissed out, annoyed.

"Mister Antonio Fernandez Carriedo"

"…"

Is he sane? Does he NOT realized how long his name is?

"…Mi-ster An-to-nio Fer-nan-dez Car-rie-do." Long, drawn-out, and sarcastic.

"...I don't like the way you said it. Say it properly."

"Tonio."

He immediatly elbowed me in the gut, causing me to double over.

"W-What the hell!?"

"That's because you were rude."

Antonio seemed satisfied with that and turned to face Arthur.

"Oh yeah, also, I have a question." Rather than just Arthur, his tone of voice suggested that he was addressing both the Brit and me, as he pointed to the corner of the classroom.

In that corner, there was a male – one who looked like he should be in high school - hugging his knees. He looked about my age, wearing an old pilot helmet and goggles and a bomber jacket, with white skin and blonde hair, a small cowlick finishing it.

"...What is that?"

"What", rather than "who", he asks, which meant that Antonio was actually perceptive. Anyways, even if it had not been Antonio, most perceptive people would have definetly noticed that there was something different about the boy, especially since he stared at Arthur with an insecure look.

"Don't worry about him," I explained, before Arthur could say anything.

"He's just sitting there, he won't do anything so – it'll be fine. He has neither a shadow nor a shape. A guy without a name, without existence..."

"Actually, Lovino," Arthur spoke up, his voice dripping amusement, "You're right that he has no shadow or shape and such, but I named him yesterday, for kicks. Since he's staying here with me, it would be convenient for me to have something to call him by, and he'll be no use to anyone without a name."

"What did you name him?"

"Alfred F. Jones."

"..What does the F stand for?"

"Nothing at all. But it does have a nice ring to it."

"Like I said..."

In a tone of voice that suggested that he had had quite enough of this name talk, Antonio asked,

"What on earth is that?"

"Like I said before – nothing."

The ruins of a vampire.

The hollow remains of a monster.

No matter what I said, it couldn't be helped, could it? It had nothing to do with Antonio. As long as I live, it's a burden that I will have to carry.

"Nothing..if you say so. Whatever."

"..."

What an indifferent man.

Antonio turned to face Arthur once more,

"Can you cure me, Mr. Kirkland?"

A smile. "Can I cure you?" He repeated the question slowly, letting each syllable roll off his tongue.

He hung tensely on his every word.

The smile widened.

"No. I can't cure you."

He inhaled sharply.

"Oi, Arthur -"

Arthur raised a hand. "Lovi, love, stay silent for a moment."

He cleared his throat. "I can't cure you, Mr. Antonio. Only you can do that for yourself."

The lights hummed softly above them.

Antonio narrowed his eyes.

"Ever since this happened to me, I've met five others who claimed that they could help. All of them were conmen, and you remind me of all of them. I'll ask you again, Mr. Kirkland: can you help me?"

He was staring daggers at him. And boy, I recognized that look. Arthur was smiling viciously. I knew that look, too.

Shit.

"Well, Mr. Antonio. You certainly seem riled up for someone half empty. Now memorize this: I'm no conman. I'll help you out, but I can't save you if you don't want to be saved." He hopped off the bed, walked over to the table, and lit the cancer stick he had.

"Do you want to be saved, Mr. Antonio?"

"I don't need saving. I just need you to fix me."

He smirked. "We'll see, Mr. Antonio."

"Why do I need saving, Mr. Kirkland? Tell me."

He smiled, blowing out smoke.

"No."

He glared.

The Brit smiled slyly.

You could have heard a pin drop.

"Hey, Arthur," said Lovino, "maybe you should -"

"Stay out of this Lovino."

Excuse you.

A small click.

Antonio now held a scissor with his right hand.

I should have checked to see If he had kept any other potential...'weapons'.

I sighed, glancing at the man smoking.

His eyes were wide with excitement. His tight-lipped smile stretched from ear to ear.

I reluctantly stepped in to mediate.

I forcefully inserted myself between them.

"Don't interrupt. I'll kill you." Antonio hissed, glancing at me.

"..."

Right now, this bastard, rather casually, talked about killing me.

Why am I always in the line of fire?

He's like a bomb.

Jesus fucking Christ, I don't have the words to describe him.

"Well, in any case," said Arthur rather offhandedly, in contrast to the tense situation.

"If you don't tell me about your situation, we won't be able to get anything done. I'm not very good at reading people's minds. If you don't talk, I won't be able to get at the heart of the problem. I'll keep your secret for you, so don't worry."

"..."

"Ah. Well. I'll explain a bit first – "

"It's okay, Lovi."

He interrupted me again.

"I'll do it myself."

"...?"

"I can do it myself," He said.


End file.
